(Should I be seeking therapy for this? The bills will, of course, go to the aforementioned teacher.) “Why did the Apostrophe Protection Society not have a militant wing? Could I start one? Where do you get balaclavas?” And then developed a strong desire to join a militant wing of the Apostrophe Protection Society. And had a very enjoyable few hours reading the creation of a fellow grammar stickler. But I am ok with being pathetic.) And then I found this book. Ah, never mind, I don't have a valid defense. In my defense, she is a language teacher. Sometimes I discuss punctuation when I talk to my mother on the phone*. This was the beginning of my grammar vigilante stickler life. This crime landed me on her "black list" for the rest of the year. My transgression - in my wide-eyed seven-year-old innocence I dared to correct my (very Soviet) teacher on her comma placement and a spelling mistake. I am kicked out of the classroom and sent home with an angry note. The setting is an ordinary Soviet elementary school, first grade. I proudly consider myself a punctuation martyr. Now, instead of peacefully munching, it EATS, SHOOTS, and LEAVES. Bad punctuation can force an innocent animal to live outside the law.
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